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This is my “nth” attempt to come up with a personal, decent and organized blog.  I started practicing the fine art of blogging sometime in 2009. Not for anybody’s eyes to read but primarily for myself.  At that time, I was a pathetic overseas slave worker and was impatiently looking forward to an early retirement.  The consequences of being at home for the rest of my retirement life was a scary thought.  So I tried to hone my “imaginary skill” – writing (if I’ll ever know how to write – properly, that is) – whenever I get the chance.

Silly thoughts. I am suddenly amused with the thought.  Uh.Uh! I am not even a writer! (just a wanna-be).  I’m  an Accountant! – I count people, I count trees, I count posts and I count bees (if I could) :-p.  Well, I count money, actually (other people’s money), and even counted the government’s money at one point in my life – in fact 22 years of trying to catch crooks in the bureaucracy – then I finally gave up.  I went abroad to count my Boss’s money.  I guess it was just too much to count, so I came back home to later on realize that I was actually AC-counting again – this time my own expenses! (without the corresponding revenues) LOL.

Kidding (myself) aside, at the moment, I am retired from employment (local and overseas) but I still continue working for my dreams.  I am an Accountant by profession, which am not so passionate about, unfortunately.  I used to work for the Philippine’s Commission on Audit as an Auditor before I became an Administrative Assistant at a brokerage company in the Cayman Islands (KY). I left my local employee and my small children to seek for greener pastures, or so I thought.  How pathetic is that?.

Being a stay-at-home mom at the moment brings me to a point in life that makes me look back to my miserable, stressful lifestyle, realizing things could have been better, if not the best, had I chose to live how I wanted my life to be.  It’s not wasted time, I’d like to think that.  But it could have been better for me had I not been tied-up to slavery for almost 30 years of my life, – and then, I could have truly “retired”, in the real sense of the word.  Well, I still hope for the best in the next 20 years, if I ever live that long!

Anyway, (Gosh! what a way to introduce one’s self) – I am now getting past my heydays, so to speak.  And it is quite a terrifying thought to admit that my “single-dome” is no longer as sharp as before.  I even thought of going back to school (in fact, I did – but quit even before the term ended).  I took up a teaching course (online) just to make me feel “secure” deep within (a fall back, just in case).  But I was also aware that my thoughts and actions were drifting away from my class, wandering around to “whatever” financial opportunities I could get into.  The idea that “this” might help make me feel “useful” and “better” again – (which is better than doing nothing) seemed to preoccupy my mind. Once again, as expected, I failed – badly! 🙁

FB_IMG_1440569372242These unthinkable turn of events on the financial side of my life (for the last 3 years) became my wake-up call.  I had to stop being unproductive (money-wise) and to start to seriously think of things I am capable of doing.  I had to admit that I can only be at my best if I’d focus only on my own “personal” interests – my family, especially my children (undoubtedly), and my books! – my books and resource materials on online entrepreneurship and writing.

Finally, I am back in the arms of my first loves – Solitude and Reading.  I like reading (but I wish I could write, too).  I enjoy sitting on my desk with my laptop, browsing the internet and reading whatever pops-out on my screen (I’m kidding).  I read all that captures my interests (I’m supposed to say), with my hot cup of coffee cappuccino or creamy latte’ beside me.  I tend to be grumpy when I don’t get the chance to do what I like most (who doesn’t?).  I wonder how I’d feel if I were also an author of something or anything.  Hmmm. (Shrugged).

Meantime, my children takes my priority.  From the time I got back home, my kids made my everyday schedule so cramped-up, it somehow made my writing endeavors wait on the sideline.  On second thought, I might try doing it (again) while immersing ourselves into our home-school activities.  I might be able to pull out some paragraphs in the coming days or weeks or months or years – until I can’t think of anything to write anymore.  Well, who knows? 😀

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” – May Sarton

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